Lessons from TV
Here are some important life lessons from my tv watching this weekend.
1. If your boyfriend is out sailing the ocean and finding himself,
DO NOT leave a voicemail on your boyfriend's phone telling him you are pregnant.
2. In an ugly divorce,
DO NOT tease your soon-to-be-ex about not being able to "pull the trigger" with another person in bed.
3. Even if you suspect a lump to be the big "C",
DO NOT sit in your unlocked office with your hand down your shirt cupping your breast.
4. When staring down the barrel of a handgun held by a crazy guy in speedo underwear and cowboy boots,
DO promise to fulfill any obligations.
and finally...
5. After commiting an unforgiveable violation of trust, and dooming the human civilization to extinction,
DO NOT accept any liquids that you did not see prepared.
A Groundhog Named Guy
This post will not turn out to be a series of rants about how my own self-induced work load is driving me crazy... but if the 3 of you out there who read this will give me a little leniency, I will indulge myself.
- I must be grinding my teeth again at night out of stress, because when I do that, I hurt my jaw which is popping again. If you don't know anyone with TMJ whose jaw pops...think of the jaw bone sliding in and out of it's socket every time you open your mouth. Wooooo.
- Headaches. I am not prone to migraines, but I have had crippling headaches (the kind right behind the eyebrow) for the last three straight days. Sucks.
- And finally, Guy. As in the French "Gee." Guy is the groundhog off of Rt 32 that I have seen almost every day for the past week. He's so cute when he does that standing up on his back legs thing. I've started waving to him. And I named him Guy.
I should probably mention that I came up with my own superstition that seeing a groundhog on the side of the road (alive) means you will have a good day. I should probably also mention that everytime I name an animal, they die. I don't do it on purpose. But, well, I'll talk about Huey the lame little bird and the entire set of fish named after characters on a tv show on another day.
